The God Problem
A semi-amusing, semi-serious take on God, written by a man with a semi-on.
God in a Nutshell
The belief in “God” is one that humans have held for millennia. Different cultures and religions portray their version of god in various different ways. From elephant-headed gods to giants in the sea, old white, bearded men in the clouds, to human men with guitars (think Hendrix). These various gods (last one not included) have all been imagined by the minds of humans as a way perhaps of giving a recognisable form to what the word is actually trying to express.
Whether or not these anthropomorphisms are God is always going to be a debatable subject, but what can’t be denied is that humans have long questioned their origins in the universe. A “supreme creator” seems to be a common theme among the various religions and cultures of the world. Whatever the details, we have often taken cues from nature, the weather, seasons, stars, and planets to try and rationalise the world around us. Ultimately, many religions have formed, cementing a particular doctrine, the original observations abstracted away.
The earliest humans must have looked up at the sun’s rays and realised, as a giver of warmth and light, they owed a great deal to it for their daily survival. Their world was intimately tied to the that of nature, and they lived and died by this balance that seemed to offer the perfect conditions to thrive, but could also take life away in the blink of an eye.
How could this all have happened by accident? is a question that many an enquiring mind has often wondered. If it was an accident, then what magical happenstance that all the random parts fell together to form a coherent whole. If it was on the other hand, somehow planned, then who, or what planned it?
These sort of questions could drive you crazy, they have a kind of “chicken and egg” feel to them (by the way it was the chicken). For most people, this kind of never ending, unanswerable thought pattern just won’t do — it leaves you with an uneasy feeling that you’re plummeting through the universe without any real purpose. As a result, humans have quantified these questions into a more relatable character. In a way it’s almost like scripting a movie, you need a protagonist that the audience can get behind. No one’s going to turn up to the premiere of “Hey, Guess What? Turns out God was a Rock All Along”.
The fact remains, that whatever version of god we believe in, they have all been envisioned by humans. Therefore, it’s impossible that any of these portrayals are even the least bit meant to be taken literally. What did god look like before humans existed? Was there a god then? Is there one now? A lot of questions! And still no answers. The old adage states “God created man in his own image”. I personally like to flip that on its head and say “Man created god in his own image”.
The first and fundamental flaw with this statement is “so what race was god then?” This immediately makes this view of god a somewhat separatist line. God was white, sorry, you barbarous, heathen savages. Get out! OK, I’m not actually making this statement, just for the people who have lost all sense of humour. I’m pretty sure if god is all-knowing then he (it, whatever) wouldn’t have made any mistakes; “Oh shit, accidentally made some brown people. Oh well, stick them in Africa”.
Look, I’m not trying to be racist. I’m kind of pointing out the innate racism/elitism/me-versus-youism inherent in most religions. I don’t have a problem with the concept of god, it’s religion that grinds my gears. It’s sort of a more elaborate version of football teams. If you don’t support my team, you can fuck off and go to hell. Imagine Muslims throwing meats pies at Christians’ faces for supporting the “wrong god”.
The way I see it, everyone is entitled to be wrong, and all the religions are basically wrong about most things. If it makes you happy to worship Buddha, or Jesus, fine, just a) don’t force it down my throat, and b) don’t tell me I’m going to hell if I don’t read your book. The main religions are like a newspaper that has constantly been edited, misquoted, and slapped back together in whatever version fits your twisted scheme to control society. I mean, the Mormons? Come on now, there’s a line.
That’s what really pisses me off. The cavemen, bless ’em, just wanted to say thanks for the sun and moon and all that stuff. These days, Capitalist leeches have essentially packaged god up, and sell him back to us at the cost of a lifetime of subservience and obedience! Cheeky bastards. But those kinda people, love religious people. They’re much easier to control. Stealing? Off to hell mate. Gay? Chuck him off a building!
If god created everything, then surely he didn’t just have an oversight one day: “Oh shit, two guys bumming. Can’t be bothered to undo that but as punishment for my mistake I’ll send them to hell. Religions were originally a way to understand our place in the universe, and, ultimately have become a way to control people. I mean sure, don’t kill thy neighbour; fairly obvious. But the subclause “Unless he’s gay” — seems like it was just written by a gay basher.
It would be almost impossible to trace the lineage of a religion but, as I’m not a scientific writer I can do whatever I want. I imagine it started out fairly simple. Man see’s world around him. Venerates it. Societies grow overtime and larger populations begin to wreak havoc with crimes of passion being rife. Village head makes up a few rules that are “sent from god” (has more weight than: Barry and I drafted these up last night). If you don’t obey said rules, you will suffer. Societies grow more and more. More rules are added. Some, quite frankly ridiculous.
Fast-forward to modern society and there are certainly less people who believe in God but we have enough laws in place to control crime in the most part, so that doesn’t really matter. We don’t even really need religion now. It’s just a relic from the past. And that may be a good thing but, bearing in mind the original intention of religions was just to show reverence to the world around us, it may not be too bad to bring some of that back. I mean do millennials know about those cloud thingys? Because I haven’t seen one of them ever look up from their phones.
I’m in danger of going off on a tangent, but that’s how I role. Our knowledge of the world around us is limited to David Attenborough documentaries and “that nice tree in the garden”. We rely increasingly on technology and the state to tell us what’s happening in the world, which to my mind seems like dangerous territory. In a broad brush stroke, human society has gone from “Do what the fuck you want, if you have the balls to back it up” to “Do whatever we say and we’ll feed you enough to keep you alive and castrate you for the trouble”.
God, and religion are just convenient tools for controlling society. But people will gladly worship any crap if it makes them feel secure and so these days it’s TV and advertising that provide our parables, and the relentless, soulless task of making money; a little for yourself and lots and lots of it for the people who, coincidentally, own all these television and advertising networks. Not only do we not believe in God (fine by me), but we don’t really even give two shits about nature, which, it can’t be denied, did gives us a stage to progress on, and thus allow us to get where we are today.
